Just because you put the work in doesn’t always mean that you will get the results that you want, but you will get a greater lesson, one that if you have your eyes open you will embrace.
I have just come off one of the biggest and hardest training cycles with my Weightlifting. Being in lockdown, the competitions, like everything else have stopped. It’s out of our hands when speaking with Coach, we set up a new plan of attack to spend this time getting stronger.
I don’t normally speak about my training, or hardly post any serious videos on the socials. I still to this day can’t really tell you why maybe its because my life is such an open book with our clients that it leaves me with something for myself. Still not sold for that reason either.
Over the last 12weeks, l have spent countless hours in the gym. I have spent so much time, squatting, lifting working on my recovery to make sure that my body is ready to go for the next session. Being an older athlete there has to be more time spent on recovery.
After the 12weeks had finished, after the highs, the lows, the smiles, and the tears - it became time to test my lifts. Testing means, going as heavy as you can until you can’t go anymore.
I walked into our gym on Monday, READY, so ready because l believed l was owed. I worked hard, l put the time in so l am going to hit the numbers that l wanted to hit.
I wrote the numbers of the lifts on the whiteboard and started to tick them off, putting a little smiley face next to the ones that felt good. As l was doing this, l kept looking at the end number. Kept thinking that l will get it done - as l was looking at the end number, l forgot to focus on the number in front of me.
At the moment, the number on the bar didn’t matter to me because l just wanted the end result.
One thing l love about Weightlifting is that if the barbell wants you to learn a lesson it’s going to teach you. Whether you like it or not.
I started to fail my lifts, at a pretty low number compared to my old heaviest lift (1RM). I thought that ‘this is interesting’. Maybe its nerves? Maybe l didn’t pull high enough - ok l can fix this. Next lift fail again, ‘what the heck is going on? I have done the work, l have made every lift until now, why am l failing at this?’
Then all the self-doubt and negative talk started to come in, my mind starts spinning with trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. Why is this happening, surely all this work l have done and have been putting in hasn’t been a waste of my time.
I leave the session, unsuccessful.
I go and l sit, unsure of what has really just happened. Feeling sad, and upset, feeling like l have wasted everyone’s time and effort. Thinking l am never going to be good at anything and wondering why l am doing this sport. Why doesn’t the sport love me as much as l love it?
I spoke to Coach, and she said ‘you’re just having a bad day’. To me, it felt like there was something more, l know and understand that every time l face barbell for a heavy session l am not always going to get a new personal best, but on this day it was something else.
Coach gave me the go-ahead to re-test on Friday. I walked into this session totally different form Monday. I didn’t write any numbers up, l took my time, and what l got is what l got. I did write the numbers down after l hit or missed the lift.
My attitude was totally different l wasn’t lifting to hit the numbers or the targets, l was lifting because it is what l really like, love to do - and guess what l hit what l needed to hit.
Going into something, thinking that you are owed or entitled to be rewarded is only setting yourself up to fail. I forgot to focus on the process and l was to busy thinking about the outcome. Staying humble, and remembering to be in the moment, is something that can be easily lost, especially in weightlifting.
How do you measure your success, is it by the number on the bar? Or l is that someone else measurement of success for you? The number will always be a number. What others think, well, they will always think it. But that’s not my monkey.
The barbell is so quick to teach you a lesson, to remind you what is important - not the outcome but the process!